Writing as a spiritual practice.
Poems, letters, stories, thoughts. Praying with my pen (and keyboard). Most of what I share here was written quickly as a spiritual practice and I have resisted the temptation to edit.
Poems, letters, stories, thoughts. Praying with my pen (and keyboard). Most of what I share here was written quickly as a spiritual practice and I have resisted the temptation to edit.
5/18/2023 0 Comments On stillness, on silenceWritten 5/13/20; modified this morning. Why are we so petrified of silence?
Do we think about our bills, our ex, our deadlines, or when we think we’re gonna die? Or do we long for the next distraction?* In stillness, in silence, we think too much. About past, present, future About what we have done and what we have left undone About what has to get done About the things that feel impossible to do Oh God, helps us stop thinking so we can be, so we can listen I love resting in you, but I need your help Still my body, still my mind Silence my thoughts, fears, judgments Even when the world around me won’t be quiet Lawn mowers roaring, trains and planes rumbling Phones ringing, husbands coughing You offer a time and place to be still Silence where truth is heard Where there is nothing to fear *Thanks, Alanis, for these enduring words of wisdom.
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4/12/2023 0 Comments My presence will go with youWritten this morning after reflecting on Exodus 33:14. Although this does not reflect it, my contemplation of how God goes with me was very specific, which made it that much more encouraging. My presence will go with you
Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be with you I am with you now You know that I am And tomorrow, and tomorrow I will never leave you So do not hesitate Do not hold back Let yourself go So I may go, too In going together, you will find rest Rest from worry Rest from the world Rest in me I will give you rest For it does not depend on you You will do great things My presence will go with you 4/5/2023 0 Comments Naaman's wifeWritten February 8, 2023, in response to a prompt in One Day I Wrote Back by Jane Herring which invited me to creatively rewrite 2 Kings 5:1-16 from the perspective of Naaman’s wife. The night before I told my small group some prompts would resonate with us more than others, “for example, there’s no way I’m going to do the prompt where I write from the perspective of Naaman’s wife.” But then for some reason the next morning I was compelled to do just that. The intent was not to imagine how she actually would have experienced it or incorporate every aspect of the story, but rather to creatively and prayerfully imagine her perspective, let that imaginative process be a source of insight, and then let the writing process reveal even more (without worrying about writing well). This was our very first day “writing back,” and my experience encouraged me for the remainder of the book to try the prompts I was not initially drawn to and to be intentional about exploring perspectives I would normally overlook. My husband, Naaman, has been struggling with a skin condition for years. It can be a little unattractive at times and I know it’s a source of discomfort for him, but it really isn’t that big of a deal. He has been wounded in battle before and wasn’t as much of a baby about that as about his skin! And all around we see people suffering from much more serious, often fatal illnesses. I know it bothers him. A lot. I try to have compassion and not just judge him for what I see as vanity. I really do wish it would go away so he could stop worrying about it.
Today, my servant came to me and was awkwardly trying to tell me something. I asked what was on her mind and she said she might know how Naaman could be cured. She was hesitant to say anything because she knows how insensitive people can be when they suggest all the treatments that have been tried or claim meditation or essential oils can heal conditions that need actual medical treatment. I assured her I was open to her ideas so she told me about a man, who she called a prophet, from her hometown who can cure people. I asked her more and she said she didn’t understand it, but he has so much faith and can just somehow do incredible things. I thought Naaman might as well try. And there was something about her conviction that gave me hope. I just told Naaman about the prophet. He is way more enthusiastic than I expected. He will try anything to be cured no matter how ridiculous. I hope this works out. He went to see the king and now they have some crazy plan that involves the king of Israel and a bunch of money. Naaman can never let anything be simple. Naaman just got home, and he is a new man! His skin has been healed, but that has nothing to do with it. He is finally worshipping God! He thinks it’s the god of Israel, and I’ll just let him think that. At least for now. But the Lord our God is one. I am so happy for him. For all of us. I wonder what would have happened if he had been disappointed, if he had not been healed. God would still be worthy of his worship. I hope he can remember this experience and know God is with him and loves him when a time comes in which his prayers are not answered in the way he wants. 3/31/2023 0 Comments Rooted and grounded in loveRevised today based on a prayer I wrote April 2, 2020 on day 37 (rooted) of Writing to God by Rachel Hackenberg in response to Ephesians 3:14-21. Because I come from love
I am beloved I am sent forth to love Let me feel my deep, wide roots The firm, fertile ground Your love that is my source Your love allows me to grow Needs me to grow Forces me to grow Let me grow into what I am meant to be Into the truest me Into your love alive through me Let me bear the good fruit of love Let me give seed to love that never ends So all may know they are loved beyond measure 3/20/2023 0 Comments Experiencing Psalm 23Written March 19, 2020 on day 23 (Experiencing Psalm 23) of Writing to God by Rachel Hackenberg. This was the week when the outlook for the pandemic seemed to grow exponentially bleaker by the hour. This was also the first day we began talking about whether we might need to postpone our wedding scheduled for the end of May. Though there may a shadow of death
It is but a shadow And in the darkest valleys You have always been there And yet, everything feels so dark I know you are with me I look for you in the wilderness For a moment there is light Still waters and green pastures And then I turn away and the darkness creeps in Make me rest and know I am yours Lead me into peace Restore my soul Lead me through the darkness So I can speak of your light Let your rod and staff guide my path Even as I continue to wander And when I am lost in darkness Let me know you are right there with me And anoint me with your oil when I need it most 3/17/2023 0 Comments Let me delightWritten March 17, 2023, inspired by Psalm 51 Create in me a clean heart
Wipe away the pain that lingers Free me from old wounds Let joy emerge unencumbered And let me delight in life Uphold my spirit that longs for you When I despair, remind me of our covenant Steadfast love There is nothing else you desire Nothing more I need Speak your promise of hesed through me Words spoken and written With my voice, my pen, my very life Outrageous, irrational hope Declaring your love that claims and redeems 3/16/2023 0 Comments I am yoursWritten March 16, 2020 on day 20 (taking a breath) of Writing to God by Rachel Hackenberg, which invited us to write a prayer "to release the strain from your shoulders and the pain from your heart as you savor the good news that you belong to God." I frequently use some variation of this breath prayer to calm my body and mind and remember God is with me. Breathe in: You call me by name
Breathe out: I am yours Breathe in: You are with me Breathe out: I am yours Breathe in: Wherever I go Breathe out: I am yours Breathe in: Whatever I feel Breathe out: I am yours Breathe in: You long for me Breathe out: I am yours 3/15/2023 1 Comment Not forsakenWritten March 15, 2020 on day 19 (lament) of Writing to God by Rachel Hackenberg, which, after reading Psalm 22, invited us to "lift up a need for healing--in your life, in another's life, in the world." March 15th was the last time we attended church before everything in Chicago completely shut down two days later. We would not return until May 23, 2021. O God, you have not forsaken us!
Let all people feel your presence Trust in your power And join together in prayer for healing Heal the sick! Give wisdom and insight and discovery to scientists, doctors, and healthcare providers! And give them courage and resources! Remove political, economic, and social barriers to healing! Heal fear and anxiety and blame! Heal apathy and denial and dismay! You are the healer of your people and their deliverer Let us praise you and pray to you Let us trust you and wait upon you with faithful expectation Because you have not forsaken us! 3/15/2023 0 Comments Grey skies full of starsWritten September 9, 2020 as my small group began reading Radical Amazement by Judy Cannato Your sky is grey, God
There are no stars, no sun or moon Only shades of grey somehow too bright for my sensitive eyes Yet the stars and the sun and the moon are all still there Infinite stars and suns and moons in countless galaxies All beyond my sight, but surely there This empty grey sky reveals as much as a clear dark night spread with twinkling stars It reveals that I am blind, I cannot see I try to contain your boundless sky To make it a canopy over these houses and trees and over the houses and trees of those I know and over places I’ve been But it is not a blanket or gauze or even a glass ceiling It is infinity, or a void somehow full of potential Alpha and Omega commingled and co-creating Your sky stretches to all that was and is and ever will be To the heavens, whatever that means To Love When I see by starlight, I glimpse your vast design I begin to sense my place in the universe A lovely speck in something too big with beauty to fully perceive But when you hide the stars from my view I am still part of your creation Formed in your image Fearfully and wonderfully made Beyond understanding 3/15/2023 0 Comments Keep me creativeWritten April 29, 2020 inspired by that date's reading in Glimpses of Grace by Madeleine L'Engle Keep me creative
Loosen my grip On the illusion of control Make me observant Of beauty around me And of hidden and not-so-hidden suffering Let me play And dream And hope Breathe into me Activate my gifts Arouse my passions Free me to serve To let go of myself So I may work with you |
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